just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
