I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
