mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
