I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
