He is an equal opportunity slut.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
