we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize