I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Sex in the backyard? Check.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
