I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
