1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
