I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize