just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
