I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
