my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize