he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
