this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize