she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
