i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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