why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
