A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
thus making me awesome and them whores
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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