I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She announced her abortion via fbk
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
