Jerry, you need to find god
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Acid is not a monday night drug
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
