Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
