I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
