That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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