New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
