with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
