Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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