Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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