I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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