This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
