There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
honey bunches of taint.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize