marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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