I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you would pick up someone in the library
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize