You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize