no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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