the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
