seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
