Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
