I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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