there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize