I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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