We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
