Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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