you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
