I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
