i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
wat bout pragnant strippers??
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
