Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
