He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
