dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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