doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
