I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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