I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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