K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
