Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
