so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
