she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
