"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have feelings that need drinking.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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