I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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