its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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