I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
