Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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