ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Two words: blizzard sex
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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