Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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