The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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