I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
