I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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