so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm experimenting with sincerity
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
